LIfe After Death

“People are going to think I'm crazy. Or that I'm suffering from some sort of trauma from the accident. They’ll say things like PTSD or psychosis. But I know what it was. It was more than just an out of body experience. It was an out of life experience. It was death. I vividly remember that day. The coffee shop. The woman. The car speeding towards me as I quickly tried to maneuver my wheelchair to the other side of the street. I blacked out momentarily, but regained consciousness as they lifted me into the ambulance. I clearly recall being surrounded by paramedics. One placed an oxygen mask on my face. Another was yelling at me to keep fighting. And that was the plan. To keep fighting until I got to the hospital where they could connect me to a machine that would fight for me. I remember being taken out of the ambulance and being rushed into an all white room. And that's when reality set in. That's when I knew that I was only moments away from taking my last breath. I used my last bit of strength to force a smile. Not to show the doctors how much I appreciated their efforts. But to mock them. Your job is to save lives. But you fail at that job everyday. And now I get to have a front row seat to watch you fail at something you have prepared for your entire life. I know how that sounds. I know that I'm coming across as unhinged. But there was a method to my mania. My entire life I have always been involved in some sort of competition. Being a winner was constantly pounded into my spirit. But I knew that I had already lost this time. The doctors just didn't know yet. In their minds, they were still in the game. But I knew better. And I refused to spend my last moments on earth cheering for the losing side. So I became a fan of death. I've heard people say that you see a bright light right before you die. I didn't. I saw darkness. I saw actual darkness. The way you see darkness in death is completely different from how you see darkness in life. And if I attempted to explain it to you then it would either be incomprehensible, or it would make entirely too much sense. Do you know what it's like for something to make too much sense? And I mean something that is beyond the realm of understanding, yet, you understand. Well, I have a level of understanding that transcends all other levels of understanding. I understand life, I understand death, and I understand life after death. And this is why I came to you. I figured speaking to a psychologist would make more sense than speaking to anyone else. What your perception of me is after you leave this room doesn't matter. But right here, right now, and professionally, you’re not allowed to call me crazy. You're not allowed to cut me off and interject with judgments or opinions. Your job right now is to simply listen. So here goes. The moment after I flat lined I transformed. I went from the physical to the spiritual. And as a spirit, there was no pain and no fear. I didn't need an adjustment period to settle into my new form. It was natural. All of a sudden, I heard a voice. A powerful, yet calming voice. I assumed it was the voice of God. I began looking around. I've always wondered what God looked like, but He never physically revealed himself. Only verbally. So I just listened. He reminded me of all of my wrongdoings on earth, and said that He forgave me, but was also giving me an opportunity to fix a lot of the pain that I had caused. There was no way to go back in time and undo the things I had done, but He was giving me power to make things right for others. I was sent back to earth, still in the spiritual form so that I would only be seen by other spirits with the same assignment. My assignment was simple. I couldn't control the actions of people, but I was given power over the outcome of their actions. It was up to me to determine their circumstances. The last thing God said to me was, ‘Remember, Heaven forgives.’ Next thing I know I'm standing next to a man for whom I had developed great disdain. A man that I have hated since childhood. The man who I credit with ripping my family apart. When I was seven years old this man fired my father from a job that he worked for twenty-five years. My mother was a stay at home mom so my dads’ job was our only source of income. Well, one night I overheard my parents arguing. Apparently, the man that my father worked for had a thing for my mother. He tried many times to pursue her but she always rejected him. He eventually got so mad that he came up with a bogus reason to fire my father. Then he asked my mother how important it was to her for my dad to have his job back. My dad didn't even find out about it until one day he decided to return to the job to beg his former boss to re-hire him. He busted into his office only to see my mother, his wife, in a rather compromising position. She tried to explain to him what was going on, but he didn't want to hear it. Honestly, I didn't blame him. But now, God had placed me next to this man. The same man that destroyed my family when I just a kid. He had become so depressed that he was suicidal. He was on the edge of a bridge ready to drown himself both literally and figuratively in his sorrows. And there I was, in the spiritual form, with the power not to stop him from jumping, but to determine what happened after he jumped. I could arrange for a boater to save him. I had the power to allow him to be saved and have a change of heart. It was up to me to allow the man who destroyed my life to have a second chance at making his life better. So he jumped. It seemed like an eternity before he hit the water. I went back and forth about whether or not to let him die. In as quickly as a blink of an eye I replayed my childhood. I saw the pain in my fathers’ eyes. I saw my mother begging him for forgiveness. Then I saw my father kissing me on my forehead right before walking out on us. The last thing he told me was that he loved me and that I was now the man of the house. Just as I had that last thought I heard the body of the man I hated smack against the water. I watched him as he disappeared below the surface of the river. A boater who was nearby jumped into the water to save him. But it wasn't up to him whether or not this man survived. It was up to me. Time was running out and it was time for me to make a decision. Then I remembered God's last words before sending me out on my assignment. ‘Heaven forgives.’ And I thought to myself, ‘So why should I?’ I didn't feel like it was up to me to forgive this man for destroying our family. That was heavens job. And I was on earth. I stared at the river waiting for the boater to come back up alone. My plan was to change his circumstances. Even though he wouldn't be able to save the man that destroyed my family, he could still look like a hero to the world. Everyone would know how brave he was. He would receive the highest award possible for heroism. But he never came up. I was hurt. But I was confused. Suddenly, there was a flash and I was back in heaven. I screamed out to God and asked Him why the boater had to die. All He said was, ‘That wasn't your assignment.’ Then everything went dark. I heard a doctor yell, ‘I think we saved him.’ I opened my eyes to five doctors standing around me. One smiled and said, ‘Congratulations, you're going to make it.’ Over the next couple weeks, I recovered rather quickly. But I never told anyone about my experience with God. Not until now. Its been two months since I was released from the hospital and I guess I just don't know what to expect. God told me that heaven forgives, but I feel like I'm going to be punished for failing my assignment…You probably have no idea how to respond. I'm sure you don't believe one word that has come out of my mouth. I don't blame you. I don't know if I would believe it myself.”

Aaron's psychologist takes off his glasses and places them on the table.

“I believe you,” he says. “One day I was out on my daily jog when I felt a tightness in my chest. I collapsed on the sidewalk. A woman ran towards me. She asked if I was ok. That was the last thing I remember. I suddenly was surrounded by an all white mist. I felt like I was walking through a cloud. Then I heard a voice. The same deep, yet calming voice that you heard. I immediately knew it was God. He gave me the same assignment that He gave you. And His last words to you, were also His last words to me. ‘Remember, heaven forgives.’ I didn't quite understand why He felt the need to tell me that. I grew up in church. I was well aware that God forgave all sins as long as the person repented with a genuine heart. Suddenly, it all made sense. I came face to face with the one man who I have never been able to forgive. You and I have a lot in common, Aaron. I too, was given the assignment of determining the outcome of the actions of the man I hated. The man who destroyed my family. The man who took my wife from me. To make matters worse, he got her pregnant and then left her. I tried to work it out with her. I tried to be there for her and the baby. I tried so hard. But I just couldn't do it. Every time I looked in that baby's eyes I saw his real father. Even though I never actually came face to face with the man, I knew what he looked like. So, after I left her for good, I vowed that if I ever crossed paths with him, that I would kill him. He would never see it coming. He had no idea what I looked like. It never happened in life, though. But now, in death, I was granted the opportunity not to kill him, but to decide whether or not he lived based on a decision that he made. And just like you, I thought of God's last words to me. And also like you, I ignored them. I watched as he made the decision to try and cross a street even though a car was coming. I guess he felt he was entitled because he was in a wheelchair. I could have arranged for that car to either brake or swerve. I could have saved his life. Or should I say, I could have saved your life, Aaron. But you took my perfect life from me. So I felt that it was only right to return the favor.”

“You bastard!” Aaron says infuriated. “You killed me!”

The psychologist lets out a sarcastic laugh.

“Bastard? Well, speaking of your son. Things didn't turn out so great for him, Aaron. But I'm sure you don't care about what I allowed to happen to him. This is about you. Earlier you said you didn't know what to expect and that you feel you will be punished for failing your assignment. Well I have allowed death to befall both a father and son. So I can tell you firsthand that there is a punishment. Welcome to hell on earth, Aaron.”